Tuesday, May 23, 2017

National Whine Day

National Wine Day is Thursday, May 25. Not to be confused with National DRINK Wine Day, which is February 18th.

Get in my body immediately.
Either way -- I celebrate. I started celebrating NWD yesterday, by drinking a glass of boxed white wine. It was delicious, and I wish I had that box with me right now. I don't though, which is unfortunate.

First of all -- it's Tuesday. Maybe you remember how I feel about Tuesdays; maybe you don't. If you don't, let me catch you up to speed: I hate them. There. Now you're all caught up. I hate them, but this one didn't start too badly. I didn't need a jacket when I left my house this morning. I didn't have to wait too long for the train. I didn't have to sit next to anyone who smelled terribly, or who sat too close to me (by MBTA standards).

But then. Then. I went outside for lunch, and sat on a bench, next to a girl who was crying into her cellphone. I didn't realize she was crying when I sat down, and was immediately uncomfortable. Which was more awkward -- leaving (obviously because she was crying), or staying put (and listening to her cry)? I decided to remain for a moment.

This was a mistake. I couldn't hear what the person was saying on the other line, but then the girl sobbed into her phone "She is the worst maid of honor EVER. I don't want to do THAT for my bachelorette. Why didn't anyone listen to me?"


At that moment - I felt bad, so I got up and moved.

I felt bad for her maid of honor. I felt bad for the person stuck listening to her on the phone. I felt bad for her bridesmaids, her family. I felt bad for any pets she might have. I felt bad for me -- because I lost my appetite. I felt bad for her -- because she has to live with that narcissism for the rest of her life.

Right now - I'd like to say thank you to the brides who have had me in their weddings. I had it so good with you all. You were all so chill. You were happy with what you had. You cared zero percent about the senseless details - because you knew that none of it was about that. You cared more about your marriages than your weddings (imagine, a marriage ceremony being about a marriage). And still, your weddings were so beautiful. You ladies, are the real MVPs.

Your husbands were so smart to choose you -- and I wonder if they realize how immensely lucky they are.

I feel bad for crying bench-bride's groom though. Wedding planning brings out true colors and he's marrying a violent shade of black.

Anyway - I'm excited about my wine tonight. Happy Tuesday Folks. 😉

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