National Wine Day is Thursday, May 25. Not to be confused with National DRINK Wine Day, which is February 18th.
First of all -- it's Tuesday. Maybe you remember how I feel about Tuesdays; maybe you don't. If you don't, let me catch you up to speed: I hate them. There. Now you're all caught up. I hate them, but this one didn't start too badly. I didn't need a jacket when I left my house this morning. I didn't have to wait too long for the train. I didn't have to sit next to anyone who smelled terribly, or who sat too close to me (by MBTA standards).
But then. Then. I went outside for lunch, and sat on a bench, next to a girl who was crying into her cellphone. I didn't realize she was crying when I sat down, and was immediately uncomfortable. Which was more awkward -- leaving (obviously because she was crying), or staying put (and listening to her cry)? I decided to remain for a moment.
This was a mistake. I couldn't hear what the person was saying on the other line, but then the girl sobbed into her phone "She is the worst maid of honor EVER. I don't want to do THAT for my bachelorette. Why didn't anyone listen to me?"
At that moment - I felt bad, so I got up and moved.
I felt bad for her maid of honor. I felt bad for the person stuck listening to her on the phone. I felt bad for her bridesmaids, her family. I felt bad for any pets she might have. I felt bad for me -- because I lost my appetite. I felt bad for her -- because she has to live with that narcissism for the rest of her life.
Right now - I'd like to say thank you to the brides who have had me in their weddings. I had it so good with you all. You were all so chill. You were happy with what you had. You cared zero percent about the senseless details - because you knew that none of it was about that. You cared more about your marriages than your weddings (imagine, a marriage ceremony being about a marriage). And still, your weddings were so beautiful. You ladies, are the real MVPs.
Your husbands were so smart to choose you -- and I wonder if they realize how immensely lucky they are.
I feel bad for crying bench-bride's groom though. Wedding planning brings out true colors and he's marrying a violent shade of black.
Anyway - I'm excited about my wine tonight. Happy Tuesday Folks. 😉